Texas trash talk and sarge charlie's southern stuff

In deference to Sarge Charlie's southern stuff

sarge charlie: Southern stuff

I offer a little TEXAS trash talk. No not UT's game? against ARKANSAS STATE -- that was garbage. This is trash talk.

One thing visitors and newcomers

invariably get wrong is "y'all,"

which is mostly used as a plural,

That is , except in the expression,

"Y'allcomeback, heah?"

and that can be addressed

to a solitary individual.

When a Texan tells you:

"This ain't my first rodeo,"

He's telling you he really knows what's up.

When there's a possibility a

Texan can or will do something,

he or she will.

Texas and the matter of death.

It just isn't done among God-fearing folk.

If you live in Texas, you better not die.

You'd best "pass away" or even better,

"passed into eternal rest in the arms of the Lord,"

or even,

"gone fishing with Jesus."

You know you're in Texas when ...

Summer is followed by more summer, still summer, and Christmas.

The thermostat is switched from A/C to heat and back on the same day.

Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

Kids find themselves trick-or-treating in 90-degree heat.

Bridges, or rivers, are not necessarily associated with water.

Hot water comes out of both taps in August.

The cafe utilizes five spices:

Salt

Pepper

Ranch dressing,

BBQ sauce

and Ketchup

Twangit, Dangit!

I can explain it to you but,

I can't understand it for you!

Special thanks to Jennifer Briggs